Bad Feelings Are Really Important After A Breakup

Banuel Dogayman
3 min readMay 18, 2021


After a breakup people always try to fight the bad feelings. They don’t want to feel the pain, they don’t want to be sad and cry all day, they don’t want all the sleepless nights. It’s normal to feel this way. I remember that after my breakup I had really bad days and I felt it was the end of the world. I didn’t know how I can continue suffering so much, it was difficult.

The thing is that you can’t fight bad feelings and also, it’s not the right thing to do. You have a truly deep connection with your ex. You loved that person and now it’s over. You opened your heart and you felt a huge variety of emotions. Good ones, bad ones, deep ones, but they all were real. You are a human being and it’s normal that you have feelings.

This is part of life, you can’t expect to feel only good things. There’s always a chance of getting hurt especially after you opened your heart. But I don’t want you to hate bad feelings. Because they have an important place in your life. They have an important role in making your life more special.

When you feel good and you smile, you can enjoy it because you know how bad it was to cry. You can enjoy being with friends because you know how difficult it was feeling lonely. I can give you thousands of examples, but you get the idea. Bad feelings are there to give you proportion to life. Without the bad, good wouldn’t exist. Everything would just be normal.

Now I know it’s hard to see the good in bad feelings while you are so hurt, but you have to find a way to do it. It’s more than natural to feel sad after losing the person you love. You don’t have to pretend you’re okay. You have to be aware of it. When you try to fight against bad feelings you will always lose.

When you try to fight sadness with being angry with yourself. You don’t make sadness disappear you just add anger to your life. When you try to fight disappointment by blaming yourself. You don’t make disappointment disappear you just add guilt to your life. When you try to fight anxiety by regretting the things you’ve done. You don’t make anxiety disappear you just add regret to your life.

When you try to fight a bad feeling with another bad feeling, you lose. You make the situation even more complicated. You are the person who can heal yourself from this situation. To do so, you have to be full of self-love, empathy, self-compassion. This is how you win.

If you want to win the bad feelings, add positive things to your life. Make yourself feel better because this is how you make yourself feel even better. It’s time to focus on yourself and take care of yourself. Because when you are happy, truly happy, bad feelings have less and less place in your day. When you have a lot of positive thoughts during the day, bad thoughts don’t have a place.

The more you take care of yourself, the more you love yourself, the more you insert good in your life, the less bad will find a place in yourself. This is how you win, this is how you not only heal a broken heart but also change your life.

Let’s Connect

Do you feel lonely? Do you feel like no one understands your pain? I have good news for you, you’re not alone! There are so many people who are in your place and this why I created a supportive community. Join our amazing Facebook group and connect with others who try to heal their broken heart. You will also get access to more information, tips and my personal support. Click here to join the group!

Do you prefer the audio version? Want to discover more broken heart tips? Click here to listen to the podcast episode!



Banuel Dogayman

I share my learning journey of finding medicine for a broken heart. Join my facebook group: