Change Your Attitude And Move On Faster
Today let’s take about moving on faster, many factors can affect how fast you will move on and heal your broken heart. Some factors are related to you, some are related to your ex and some are related to the environment. Today I want to discuss your ex and how your attitude towards them can delay or help you move on faster.
You didn’t lose your one
Probably you know that feeling when you are in love with your ex and you think he is the perfect person. You think he is your “one” and you will live the rest of your life with him. You want to be with him and to spend every moment with him. You are sure everything is perfect and then the breakup arrives. You didn’t see it coming, you thought you will be together forever and suddenly, your ex says “goodbye”. It’s painful, it’s hard to accept, you have lost the person you love so much and feel hopeless. Many of you believe you have lost your “one” and it breaks you. This is the first mistake I want to discuss today. Losing your “one” can make your healing process impossible to complete. If you have lost your one, there’s no sense to move on and to look for another one because you have lost the second half. But here is where your attitude enters, you need to understand that the fact you thought your ex was the one, it doesn’t mean he was. You wanted him to be, you hoped he would be, but you find out he isn’t your one. He decided to go, and it hurts. You have lost something, there’s no doubt about it. You lost the hope your ex will be your one, you didn’t lose your one. Let me say it again because if you take only that from the whole episode, I did my job. You didn’t lose the one, you lost the hope you ex will be the one.
You absolutely can be sad and cry because the hope died, that feeling you felt is no more relevant, take your time to accept that reality. But accept this is the reality and the only one. You didn’t lose your one, you haven’t met him yet. Your one will stay forever and love you unconditionally, unlike your ex. Once you make that change of thoughts you will be able to move on much faster, it will put you in proportions and you will have hope again of finding your true love. As long as you hold into that belief you lost your one you won’t be able to move on, accept it. Louise hay once said:” Every thought we think is creating our future”. I liked this quote because it reminds us how one thought can change our future and especially after a breakup it’s important to be able to control our thought and to be aware of them.
Your ex wasn’t perfect
Another thing you might be doing and it’s slowing your healing process is, idealizing your ex and your relationship. This is can be so dangerous just as considering your ex as the one. After a breakup, our brain usually remembers only good thoughts about our ex and our relationship. You suddenly ignore all the bad the happened and all the things that didn’t work out. You think about the things you loved about your ex, all the good memories, the experience you had, the presents you gave to each other, the beautiful moments you had. You see your relationship and your ex as ideal. A study by Rachel Brenner tried to understand if it better to think good things about our ex or bad ones. Will positive memories of our relationship help us move on or not. The results of the study showed that thinking negative thoughts about your ex may feel harmful at the beginning but will encourage positive feelings toward no longer being with your ex and will help you move on faster. What you need to do is start being aware of the whole relationship. Write down all the things you didn’t like about your ex and your relationship. It will help you understand your ex wasn’t perfect and wasn’t your one. You will feel relief and move on faster. Roxanna Jones said something amazing:” Awareness is always the beginning of positive change”. Start by being aware today and your life will be transformed.
Do you feel lonely? Do you feel like no one understands your pain? I have good news for you, you’re not alone! There are so many people who are in your place and this why I created a supportive community. Join our amazing Facebook group and connect with others who try to heal their broken heart. You will also get access to more information, tips and my personal support. Click here to join the group!
Do you prefer the audio version? Want to discover more broken heart tips? Click here to listen to the podcast episode!