Controlling Your Thoughts Will Heal You
Today I want to talk about our thoughts, how we can control them, how not controlling them will make the healing process harder, and why it will help you in life in general.
After a breakup we have so many thoughts, I remember I couldn’t think of anything else but my ex, my relationship, what I said, what I didn’t say, what she said. I wondered if she loved me if she could come back. What if I was taller, bigger, what if I was different. I wanted to be with her, I hated her, I wanted her to be happy, I wanted her to suffer, I was happy for a moment and then sad. It’s just was a huge roller coaster that made me so tired and hopeless. Maybe right now you are thinking the same. I am quite sure you do, it’s just impossible not to think about those things at the beginning.
Our mind looks for an answer
Our mind is rational, it always looks for reasons. When a breakup happens, we feel a huge pain and our mind tries to think about a reasonable explanation of why we feel like that. When our ex gives us a reason like “I don’t love you anymore”. For our mind, it’s not a reasonable explanation, because how only a few words can cause so much pain. What does our mind do? It tries its best to find answers. Our mind starts to analyses the whole relationship, all the moments, all the experiences, all the times you were together. It tries to find the reason, the real reason why you feel so much pain. This is why you can’t stop thinking, this is why you feel overwhelmed, this is why you feel tired.
What can you do to calm your mind? Well, there are some steps you can take that will help you. First, don’t be dramatic, a breakup is something that can happen to anyone. It doesn’t mean you are less, it doesn’t mean you are not a good person and it’s not the end of the world. Pay attention right now and you will notice nothing happens. No one is judging you, no one makes you feel shameful, the sun continues to rise, the rest of the world continues as usual. It’s just you against your mind. Just stop all that you are doing right now and see that nothing happens. Yes, your heart is broken I don’t underestimate that, I just want you to be aware that nothing around you is happening, it’s all in your head and how to decide to react. The circumstances are what they are, but they don’t make you suffer. What makes you suffer are your thoughts, your attitude toward the situation. This means that the key to your happiness is in your hands, you can stop your pain, you are the hero of your own story. A good metaphor is the following quote: “Thoughts in your head are really no different than the sound of a bird outside. It is just that you decide that they are more or less relevant”. Once you don’t panic, and once you realize you can heal yourself and make yourself feel better if you control your thoughts you will be able to improve the situation.
Meditation can help
A very strong tool that can help you be aware of what you think about is meditation. Meditation is very recommended because it will help you to disconnect, it will give you some minutes of freedom you need. Meditation will allow your mind to rest a little bit. More than winning some moments of disconnection, you will be able to be aware of your thoughts, of your feelings. This is a strong tool because with that you can become calmer, more focused, and more confident. Meditation will let you understand that your thoughts affect directly your feelings. I am not a teacher of meditation, so I want to explain here how to do it, but I do want to say some words about it from my experience. Meditation isn’t easy to do, it takes time to get used to it, don’t give up you will see how amazing it is once you do it. Also, don’t be afraid of what happens, maybe you will think about so many random things, maybe you feel so many feelings, just let it all be. Meditation is not about eliminating all the thoughts, it’s about just being aware and let things be.
Don’t be afraid of your thoughts, don’t try to fight against them, and don’t be angry. The more you try to prevent it the more it will be. Meditate, take your time to reflect, to rest. You will find happiness faster than you believe.
Let’s Connect
Do you feel lonely? Do you feel like no one understands your pain? I have good news for you, you’re not alone! There are so many people who are in your place and this why I created a supportive community. Join our amazing Facebook group and connect with others who try to heal their broken heart. You will also get access to more information, tips and my personal support. Click here to join the group!
Do you prefer the audio version? Want to discover more broken heart tips? Click here to listen to the podcast episode!
