How To Move On After Being Cheated On
You discovered your ex cheated on you and the relationship ended. It doesn’t really matter who initiated the breakup as the pain and the results are the same. You are hurt, feel betrayed, and don’t know what to do. In general, the reason for the breakup isn’t important so much because the healing process will be the same. But after cheating, some thoughts may come to you and I think we should talk about them.
My first piece of advice to you — don’t blame yourself. After being cheated it’s easy to blame yourself and take responsibility. People think they didn’t give enough to their ex and therefore they decided to cheat. Maybe it’s true that something was missing for your ex and maybe not and you just gave your everything. But in both cases, you have to understand that no one is perfect, every couple has problems, every person has flaws and you can never be the perfect one. When there is a problem the best thing and the most logical thing to do is to talk and try to solve the problem. If your ex decided to cheat on you instead of dealing with the problem, it’s their fault, not yours. This is the main reason why you’re not guilty.
I’m not saying you are perfect, and you have nothing to do with the fact the relationship ended. But also, don’t think your partner was perfect. Your partner didn’t take responsibility for your relationship. Instead of trying to make things work and improve the situation, they decided to run away and to cheat on you. You can only improve the things that are under your control but if your ex doesn’t do his or her part, it’s not your fault. Always try to change yourself and improve yourself, don’t try to change others, you deserve someone who loves you as you are. You will find someone who loves you with all of your flaws, fears, and insecurities.
Another thing you shouldn’t do. Don’t look for answers. Don’t try to understand why your ex cheated on you because you won’t find any answer or at least not one which will satisfy you. Maybe they will blame you, maybe they will be honest and give you a reasonable explanation. Maybe you won’t get any answer you want to hear, so just accept the reality as it is and focus on the present. There’s no sense in digging in the past because it won’t bring you where you want to be.
Don’t compare yourself with your ex’s lover. There is no sense in doing so because again it’s not about you or what you have don’t have. It’s only about your ex and their problems. You can’t be someone you’re not and shouldn’t pretend to be someone else because you want someone who loves you as you are.
A thing I want to end with, people sometimes wonder if they should give another chance to someone who cheated. Because it happens many times when people cheat and after that, they’re sorry and want to fix things. I don’t know if a cheater will be always a cheater, but I think that if someone did it once and it can happen more times. I personally don’t think you need to return to someone who cheated on you because you don’t deserve that, you deserve much better. But it’s up to you if your ex comes back and says he or she is sorry and you believe them so go for it, I don’t think you deserve it.
Remember that even if you were cheated on, you’re not guilty. Don’t blame yourself, don’t take responsibility, don’t look for explanations if they don’t exist. You deserve to be happy never forget that.
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