How To Stop Yourself From Texting To Your Ex

Banuel Dogayman
3 min readMay 2, 2021


After a breakup, the number one thing you want to do is to speak with your ex. You want to text them, you want to share your day with them, you want to tell them what’s new in your life. And in general, it’s hard to accept the reality has changed.

In this episode, I want to give you a tip to stop texting your ex because I know how hard it is.

Before we start with the practical tip it’s important to understand the situation. The reality isn’t the same anymore. Your ex was part of your life but not anymore. Maybe you still talk, maybe you still see each other but you’re not together anymore. And someday you will have to confront the truth. You can’t act as nothing happened. You start a new life, where you are alone, and you have to rebuild yourself and work on improving your future.

When you hold into the past and you still look for your ex and try to share things with them. You don’t accept the reality, you make it even harder for yourself. Every unnecessary contact with your ex just reminds you of the past and don’t let you build a new future. You want to learn and grow from the breakup. You don’t want to stay behind and live there.

One message, one call, can bring many memories and feelings. It will hurt you and make your healing process harder, so why would you do that? You have to understand that you still have feelings. Your heart needs time to let go of things, to adjust to the new situation. Your goal is to move on and to do so, you should try to avoid any contact possible with your ex to ease your pain.

Now I know it’s not easy. I know that even though you know how dangerous it can be to speak with your ex, you still can’t hold yourself and you do it. I know the feeling you feel like you must call them, like every second without them is hell. So, let me give you some advice to handle this situation.

It’s important to remember that even if you try your hardest and you still text your ex, it’s not the end of the world. It doesn’t mean you failed or will never move on. You’re a human and you can have bad days sometimes. Blaming yourself is the last thing you want to do. Loving yourself and embracing yourself throughout the journey is the most important thing you can do.

A good exercise to do when you feel the desire to send your ex a message is to write a letter. Instead of writing your ex directly or trying to distract yourself, which rarely works. Write everything you want to say. Take a paper or you can prepare a notebook especially for such cases. Write down everything but don’t send it to your ex. You can later read it, burn it, throw it. Let go of the feelings, of the thoughts, of what you have inside. It’s not good to keep things inside. I am sure this exercise will help you feel relief and will reduce your will to text your ex.

Remember that talking with your ex won’t lead you where you want to be, it will just harm you. Don’t judge yourself even if you break sometimes and try the exercise which I am sure will help you.

Let’s Connect

Do you feel lonely? Do you feel like no one understands your pain? I have good news for you, you’re not alone! There are so many people who are in your place and this why I created a supportive community. Join our amazing Facebook group and connect with others who try to heal their broken heart. You will also get access to more information, tips and my personal support. Click here to join the group!

Do you prefer the audio version? Want to discover more broken heart tips? Click here to listen to the podcast episode!



Banuel Dogayman

I share my learning journey of finding medicine for a broken heart. Join my facebook group: