Mistakes You Don’t Want To Do After A Breakup
After a breakup we don’t know what to do, it’s normal because no one ever prepared us for such pain. Everyone makes some mistakes, in my healing process I made a lot of mistakes which delayed my overcome, but I’m here to make your way faster. It doesn’t mean you won’t make the same mistakes I did but at least you will be able to recognize you’re doing something wrong and eventually change it.
The first mistake people do after a breakup is staying friends with their ex. I have many episodes about why it’s wrong and I don’t want to dive into details in this episode. But I have to mention it as it’s a huge mistake people do. Just keep in mind that right now you love your ex and your goal is to let go and move on. As long as you talk with them, see them, hang out with them just as friends. It’s all hurting you, it doesn’t lead you where you want to be. Some people say:” don’t worry just be a friend of your ex, you’re just friends”. This is completely wrong and please try to avoid it. Maybe in the future, after you have no feelings and you feel stronger and you moved on with your life, you can decide whether to be a friend of your ex or not. But in the beginning, there’s no doubt, you shouldn’t.
A side note I want to say. Sometimes we can’t stop speaking or seeing our ex. This can happen because they’re the parent of your children or because you’re at the same work. The best thing you can do in such a situation is to try to reduce the contact as much as possible and keep the conversation only about the topic. So, if it’s the parent of your children, talk about them only when needed and only about them. Same at work, speak only about the professional staff and nothing else.
Another big mistake people do after a breakup is running after their ex. Even if you want your ex back and you don’t want to move on without them, running after them is a bad idea.
There are a couple of reasons why, the main one is that you’re hurting your ex’s privacy, they decided to continue their life without you. It’s painful but they can do whatever they want even if you think they need your help, or you can suggest a better solution for them. Sometimes we are completely sure our ex made a huge mistake letting us go, and we’re determined to prove them they’re wrong. But we can’t do it. It’s their life and their right to choose how to live it. Also begging and annoying your ex will just cause them to feel bad and your chances to get them back will decrease. If you want your ex back let them miss you, stop speaking to them. Let them see how’s life without you and also take that time to reflect and see if you want them.
One more mistake people do is running into a relationship too soon, whether it’s with your ex again or a new one, you need time. You need time to learn about the past, about why things didn’t work out, what you can do better, what you want in your future partner, and what you don’t want. Starting a new relationship too soon increases dramatically the chances of this relationship to fail too. Give yourself time to observe things and even enjoy being alone for a while. After some time, you will feel it’s the right time and you’re ready. It’s important to learn from past mistakes to not repeat them. It’s important to take care of your self-esteem which is probably hurt after a breakup, overwise you will keep making the same mistakes and choosing the wrong partners for you, again and again.
Remember that if you already made things of what I said it’s not the end of the world. It’s important not to be hard with yourself, you always try your best in such a difficult situation. Don’t be a friend of your ex because you need to give your heart time to forget and let the feelings go. Don’t run after your ex because you have to respect the decision of other people and you have to reflect. Don’t run into a relationship because you want to be able you analyze things and learn from the past.
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Do you prefer the audio version? Want to discover more broken heart tips? Click here to listen to the podcast episode!
