Stop Looking For Answers Why Your Ex Left

Banuel Dogayman
3 min readMay 2, 2021

Everyone wants closure, everyone needs closure. It’s normal to want to know why the relationship ended. And it’s important to know it to move on. Today I want to tell you how to get the closure you’re looking for and finally be able to put the past behind and move on.

But first, let me introduce 3 reasons why looking for closure can be very problematic.

Reason number 1

When you think about what your ex did or said and you try to look for clues. You start thinking about the whole relationship again. You start to analyze the past and you try to discover new things. Memories come up to your mind and as you already know, even one memory can be dangerous. One memory can bring so many feelings and take you twenty steps backward. Thinking about what your ex did and try to find answers will cause you unnecessary pain that you can easily avoid. It can be really painful to dig into the past.

Reason number 2

You can’t change the past and not your actions or your ex’s actions. You can only learn from it and improve yourself. When you dig in the past, you waste energy and instead of building your future, you still live in the past. The best thing you can do in this case is just to accept the reality. Now it’s time to focus on yourself, your present, and your future. You have to do all that you can to be happy again and to move on. Thinking about the past will do the opposite effect from what you are trying to do. There is no reason for you to do it.

Reason number 3

Looking for an answer is a battle you will lose. Why? Because you are not going to get these answers anywhere. You don’t know the real reason if your ex didn’t tell you. Your friends don’t know the answers as well. The only person who knows the answers is your ex. Maybe he lied to you or hides the answers. But anyway, you won’t get the answers you’re looking for.

The best thing you can do right now if you want closure is to accept what your ex told you. If the reason sounds logical to you, don’t try to look for more information, accept it as it is. If your ex told you something that doesn’t make any sense or didn’t tell you anything. In this case, you have you think of a logical reason by yourself. Think of a reason why you think things didn’t work out. Think of a reason that doesn’t blame you or hurt you. It’s important to find a reason that your mind and heart can accept with peace, so you can finally take care of what is important and it’s rebuilding yourself.

Let’s Connect

Do you feel lonely? Do you feel like no one understands your pain? I have good news for you, you’re not alone! There are so many people who are in your place and this why I created a supportive community. Join our amazing Facebook group and connect with others who try to heal their broken heart. You will also get access to more information, tips and my personal support. Click here to join the group!

Do you prefer the audio version? Want to discover more broken heart tips? Click here to listen to the podcast episode!



Banuel Dogayman

I share my learning journey of finding medicine for a broken heart. Join my facebook group: