We All Have Bad Days After A Breakup

Banuel Dogayman
4 min readOct 13, 2020

If it was easy to heal a broken heart I wouldn’t be here. I wouldn’t have started this blog and I wouldn’t share my story and my knowledge. But this is not reality. A breakup is something hard to overcome, hard but possible. I’m sharing a new tip every week because I know you can move on and build a new life after that painful situation. I know that you can build yourself again and become a stronger person. I know that because I did it myself. Today I want to share some thoughts about my process of healing my broken heart and what I learned from it.

I tried to look for information about moving on after a breakup. I read books, watched videos on YouTube, tried to find out anything that would be helpful. I found some good advices, when I read them, it made a lot of sense and I felt motivated. But in reality, when I tried to implement them, I discovered it wasn’t easy as it looked. It’s like my heart couldn’t accept what the mind accepted. Maybe it happens also to you when you listen to my episodes, you feel motivated and like you can do it, and suddenly you discover you can’t.

For me, it was hard to accept, I thought I was in a loop and I would never overcome it. But I realized I don’t have to rush myself, my heart. I understood that anyone has bad days and good days. There will be ups and downs in your journey. Not every day is going to be a good day. Not every day is going to make you feel like you are doing a process. There will be days when you feel stuck, when you feel you can’t do it. It’s natural and it’s part of the road.

Once you realize that you are going through something painful, but natural, you make a huge step. This change of mind is very important because when you judge yourself, when you lose hope, when you don’t believe in the process, you decrease your chances of moving on. You will have to learn to embrace yourself even on hard days. Those are the days when you learn, when you grow, when you improve. Those are days you have to pass. A good quote I liked that can describe the hard days, is the following one:” Sometimes you have to suffer the rain to see the rainbow”.

The fastest way to move on after a breakup, to let go of all the things that hurt you and to rebuild yourself, is to have one person who supports you. You only need one person who will be there for you, who will support you, who won’t let you give up, who won’t judge you, who will push you to your limits, that person is you. Develop self-compassion and you will see how fast you move on. Let go of self-judgment it will just harm you. Remember that hard days are just temporary, and they will pass.

I saw a post of a woman who was in a relationship of 5 years and the breakup was very difficult for her. She knew what she had to do to move on and yet she couldn’t follow the guides, she kept doing the wrong things time after time. She was very disappointed with herself and she didn’t know what to do.

This is a situation I don’t want you to reach. Because when you don’t have self-compassion you make the situation harder, you make yourself more vulnerable and you make the whole thing much more painful. I ask you only one thing, patience. Things will get better, time will absolutely heal your pain and as you follow my advice you will see a great improvement. But don’t think it’s magic, don’t think that it will happen overnight. You have to give your heart time to understand what happens, to embrace the pain, to let go of the feelings.

Also don’t think that if you had one bad day, it’s over, you will have to go over the whole process once again. Because even in bad days you are improving, you’re growing. Your life is in your hands, all you have to do is to decide whether you give up or not. I know the reward that waits for you is amazing and therefore the road worth the pain.

Believe in the process, believe in yourself, love yourself anytime, even on your bad days, and remember that they are just temporary. I promise you that by following that, you will change your life and your future. You will heal your broken heart, you will build a new life and you will be a really happy person.

Let’s Connect

Do you feel lonely? Do you feel like no one understands your pain? I have good news for you, you’re not alone! There are so many people who are in your place and this why I created a supportive community. Join our amazing Facebook group and connect with others who try to heal their broken heart. You will also get access to more information, tips and my personal support. Click here to join the group!

Do you prefer the audio version? Want to discover more broken heart tips? Click here to listen to the podcast episode!

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Banuel Dogayman

I share my learning journey of finding medicine for a broken heart. Join my facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/UnbeatableHeart