What If Your Relationship Ended In a Ugly Way

Relationships can have many ends. Some relationships end with a lot of respect and love where the couple understands they can’t be together for different reasons. Some relationships end unexpectedly because one side didn’t see any clues of ending. Some relationships end in an ugly way because one side discovered a betrayal. Some relationships can end with a lot of hate and anger after a huge explosion or fight. Every relationship ends differently and also yours. But there’s something always true to all kinds of relationships. It’s hard, it’s painful and it’s best to take distance from your ex at least in the beginning and let me explain why.

Maybe your relationship ended in an ugly way

Let’s first talk about the scenario the relationship ended in an ugly way, you fought with your ex, or you discovered a betrayal, or maybe they told you they don’t love you anymore and you just can’t accept it. Whether the situation is, now you feel hurt and lonely. The natural thing to do is to be angry, feel hate toward your ex, wish them bad things for hurting you so hard. Also, your ego is low, you can’t believe someone gave up on you. You are a human being with real feelings and then you are hurt you feel pain, it’s normal. But try not to take this pain into a bad place, place of hate, anger, bad wishes. You have to take this pain and learn. You have to use it as a personal lesson and grow. Make yourself a better person and a better partner.

When you feel hate toward your ex you can’t move on. Maybe you believe that if you hate them you don’t love them anymore, and somehow, it’s true because the difference between hate and love is very small. But just as love, when you hate someone, you think about him a lot, he affects you a lot, he changes your mood easily. When you hate a person you are hurt, even more, you spend your time with negative feelings and thoughts, this is awful. I’m sure your goal is to be happy and not to hate your ex. Why would you spend all your energy hating someone who isn’t in your life anymore and doesn’t want you in his life?

“Holding on to anger is like holding on to an anchor and jumping into the sea. If you don’t let it go, you’ll drown”. This is an amazing metaphor for the situation. Because the more you hate, the more you feel negativity, and this way, it’s impossible to move on, to let go, to be happy, which is your goal. A good exercise you can do to let go of the anger is to write a letter to your ex, which you will never say of course. Write everything you feel in that letter, just let go the anger go in that letter and then you’re done. Do whatever you want with this letter, you can burn it. But after that, promise to yourself that you’re starting a new way, a new journey without any anger or hate. Your ex is part of your past and now you are ready to focus on your present.

Maybe your relationship ended in an respectful way

If you ended your relationship more respectfully, it’s still important to take distance. It’s always a good idea to take a break from the past. It will give you time to let go of the love, of the feelings. You have to start a new, fresh way, and it’s best to start it without thoughts and feelings about the past. As I mentioned in my last article it’s a bad idea to stay friends with your ex because it won’t let you go. Check this article out for more information.

Maybe in the future, you will want to be friends with your ex and it’s possible. But first, you have to take distance, to let the feelings go. You have to make decisions from a clean place and because you want to, not because you are in love and you can’t say no. I know it’s hard and maybe even feel childish to take distance from someone, but your heart needs it. It’s important to do it for yourself.

Sometimes I hear people say:” Don’t worry I don’t love my ex anymore I just want to see him”. Most of the time it’s an illusion. We want to believe we stopped loving but it’s not always true. Don’t rush your heart to forget hast. Ease the healing process. Give your heart time to forget.

It doesn’t matter how your relationship ended, it matters how you react to you, and if you’re ready to move on. I believe you have all the abilities to move on. Take the distance from your ex to make it easier, give yourself time and you will see the magic happens. I want to end with a quote from Bianca Sparacino “Be brave enough to heal yourself even when it hurts”. I believe in you!

Let’s Connect

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Do you prefer the audio version? Want to discover more broken heart tips? Click here to listen to the podcast episode!