Why Self Image Is So Important To Heal Your Heart

Today I want to talk about your self -image which is probably low after the breakup. You and your ex broke up, you find yourself reflecting over the relationship, over how you acted, over how your ex acted. Reflecting is important because it helps us learn and grow, but it has to be clean of self-judgment or, you won’t be able to move on, you will end up hurting yourself and your self-image.

I want to start with the story of a woman who was in a relationship for 2 and a half years. She was really happy in the relationship. They shared the same apartment, and everything was perfect. Unfortunately, she has been struggling with weight all her life. She always gained weight easily and it was hard for her to lose it. During the relationship, she gained even more weight. The relationship changed and things started to be more complicated, he acted differently, they had less sex, and even if she asked him what happened, he never said anything. One day, her ex broke up with her, he told her he was depressed and needed time to be alone. Later he confessed that her weight was an issue and that he couldn’t continue anymore, he wasn’t attracted to her.

For her, it was the end of the world, a good, loving guy left her. She blamed herself so much, the clues existed, and she didn’t see them, she didn’t act. After the breakup, she immediately dropped all the weight, but it was too late, he wasn’t interested anymore. Her confidence was low.

This is a story many of you might relate to, not necessarily about weight. It can be appearance issues, or your economic status, your family, your hobbies, your character, or something else. Every relationship is different, but none is perfect. There are always problems. But a relationship is not about two perfect people but about people who want to improve each other and love them unconditionally.

Change the Things You Can Change

There are some things you can control and change, but some of them you can’t. If your ex broke up with you because something you can’t control, don’t even think about it. Once you stop being worried about things you can’t change, you make your life more beautiful. In the story I told you, she could change her weight, that’s right. But she was struggling and instead of helping her, her ex was judging her. Also, he didn’t even dare to tell her the truth during the relationship. So how could she fix that?

Whether the reason is, the relationship ended. Instead of being there and supporting you, your ex decided to move on. It’s their full right, don’t be angry with them. But don’t blame yourself, don’t focus on what could have been if you changed yourself. Now it’s time to focus on the present, on improving yourself and on returning to be a happy person again.

“Regret is the only wound the soul does not recover from” — never forget that. The more you regret, the more you blame yourself, the harder it will be for you to move on, to be happy, to forget. Mistakes happen, you’re not perfect. It’s part of being alive.

Improve Your Self-Image

To have success in life and to move on after a breakup we need a high self-image. The way we see ourselves, what we think we are, and what we believe our abilities are, will determine how happy we will be and how much self-love we will have. Remember that when your self-image is low, heartbreak becomes much more complicated. The healing process is almost impossible. If you don’t love yourself, how can you ask someone else to love you if you don’t do it yourself.

Let me talk about a scenario that can happen when your self-image is low. You try to move on, and you even make very good progress and then, suddenly your ex sends a message, you hear a song, you see a scene in a movie, and you break. You feel like you are starting from the beginning. You judge yourself for still missing and wanting your ex. You think you are crazy, you feel hopeless and you feel like nothing can help you. You hate yourself for failing once again, and you enter an endless loop of sadness.

This is something that can happen to anyone and therefore self-image is very important to make the situation better. Don’t let little breaks destroy your hope and improvement. It’s important to reach a stage in life when you look at the mirror and you love and admire the person you see. A good exercise I like is affirmations. Write down positive sentences about yourself, about what you love, about who you want to be. You can record it. You can do mediation and while doing it, turn on your record, let the sentences enter your mind, your heart, it can have a huge impact on your self-image. I want to add that bad self-talking can make the opposite effect. Your mind and heart are in a fragile situation and every negative thought can affect them. Don’t say things like:” I’m stupid” or “I’m weak”. Support yourself.

Also, a good thing you can do to inspire yourself. You can read a biography of people you admire, watch movies that give you motivation, read books and in general improve yourself. When you invest in yourself you improve your self-image. Image yourself living the life you want to, you can spend some minutes every day visualizing the perfect life, it will inspire you. “The most important relationship is the one you have with yourself” — make that relationship perfect and you will see how your life improves.

Remember to improve what you can, be honest about what you can improve, and what not. Don’t worry about the things you can’t control, it’s useless. Use positive affirmation when you talk about yourself. Become your best friend and support yourself. It will bring you to the point you want to be.

Let’s Connect

Do you feel lonely? Do you feel like no one understands your pain? I have good news for you, you’re not alone! There are so many people who are in your place and this why I created a supportive community. Join our amazing Facebook group and connect with others who try to heal their broken heart. You will also get access to more information, tips and my personal support. Click here to join the group!

Do you prefer the audio version? Want to discover more broken heart tips? Click here to listen to the podcast episode!