You Can’t Take All The Responsibility

Banuel Dogayman
3 min readMay 14, 2021

It’s really hard to accept the fact that you gave all you had and still the relationship ended. It’s not easy to understand that you wanted something, but you won’t have it, not because of you but because your ex decided to go. But there’s one thing you must not compromise on, being loved. If you want a healthy relationship you need 2 people. You need 2 people who are ready to fight for that relationship and do everything to make the relationship work.

Both sides need to love each other, respect each other and be ready to do everything they can to have an amazing time together. If one side isn’t there, it’s just impossible to achieve it.

A common mistake people do after a breakup is believing they’re guilty. They think the relationship failed because of them and they weren’t enough. Maybe you believe the same, but I want to explain why it’s not true. During the relationship you made some mistakes, I’m sure. If you say you didn’t make any, you lie. Your ex made mistakes also. In every relationship, the couple makes mistakes. No one is perfect, and it’s not easy to do things without sometimes, hurting the other side. Sometimes we try to do something to make the other person happy, but we end up hurting that person. All the couples have challenges and obstacles.

No relationship is easy, no one is perfect. There’s no reason for you to take all the responsibility. You do have to grow from that experience and see how you can improve yourself to become even a better partner and a better person. You deserve to be with someone who loves you with all of your flaws and imperfections. If you are in a relationship where your partner wants you to be better, it’s impossible. You will find yourself trying to satisfy a person who will never be satisfied.

You have to be aware of what you can give in a relationship and what you can’t. Everyone has good things and flaws and it’s okay. You shouldn’t try to be perfect. When you blame yourself after a breakup or when you take too much responsibility for the separation. You make the situation more complicated. Because the situation is already painful and hard. What you have to do is to love yourself, fill yourself with compassion. When you blame yourself, you add layers of guilt to the situation and in this way, it will be hard for you to move on.

Let go of the guilt, try to do your best in every situation, and remember that if you gave your everything and it wasn’t enough. You gave it to the wrong person.

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Banuel Dogayman

I share my learning journey of finding medicine for a broken heart. Join my facebook group: